2009

Welcome 2010, I think:(
I started 2009 not being very optimistic, and as it ends I am very optimistic. During 2009, I lost a lot and gained so much,
I felt a lot of sadness, and lots of joy,
I empathized, sympathized, regretted, and celebrated,
I saw couple places for the first time, hung out with love ones and met new lives,
I read many books, articles, and blogs,
I wrote a little, I learned a lot more french.
I found many inspirations but lost a great role model.
I do want to welcome 2010 with open arms and say good-bye to 2009 but I hesitate because it means I will never get my greatest loss as of today back.

a super living thing

The planet is changing because it is alive,
It breathes like the living things it sustains,
It goes through cycles like the climate,
It is influenced by the living things it interacts with,
It will flourish if it is cared for,
It will die if it is abused.

You are who You are and so are those you love and hate

We are all products of our environment(s), experiences and determination, this is why some friendships and or relationships ends. This is why we form new friendships and relationships. People need to interact with one other and to do so most are drawn to others with similar experiences, interests and determination. So don't be shock if you see a friend or relative bonding with someone with whom you cannot connect with, because in order for that friend or relative to be their true self, in order for that friend or relative to be whole they need that interaction.

Happy Turkey day

Happy Turkey day to those celebrating thanksgiving. For me it depends on where I am at and who whom I'm with, I normally use this break from work or school as an opportunity to rest or pay someone a visit. Tomorrow I will be driving down to Virgina to visit with one of my Dad's sister and one of her kids and his family.

I guess I will be with family that is actually celebrating so I guess I will be celebrating thanksgiving.


A prochain fois!!!

Montreal-

Mon week-end a Montreal a ete tres bon. J’ai pu poser quelques questions en francais. J’ai regarde deux l’emission d’enfant a la televison et j’ai compris l’emission un peu. Montreal est une ville tres belle. Il y a beaucoup a y faire et voir. J’ai tourne la ville et la vue du Mont-Royal est incroyable. Je tenir a grimper a Mont-Royal la prochaine fois que je visite Montreal.

English:
My weekend in Montreal was very good. I was able to ask few questions in French. I watched two children's television programs and I understood the show a bit. Montreal is a very beautiful city. There is a lot to do and see there. I toured the city and the view from Mount Royal is incredible and the next time I am eager to climb Mont-Royal when I visit Montreal.

Why I hate this time of the year ( NOV, DEC)

OMG, it is starting, everywhere I look, I see signs asking me to please give to this and that cause, every moment soliciting emails, I go home to what I hope will be solitude only to find mails waiting for me from organizations who have gotten my emails from others I have donated to. Not only that, my Per Diem job ( one that I have been hoping to fade out) expects me to cover all their available shift especially around holiday as if I do not deserve time holiday break just as their regular staff. Even when I told them I was over-worked and that I could only do 15 hours next month, they responded thanking me and then added if I would consider working at another house 25 min away ( yeah for the same lousy 9 dollars an hour before tax, gas not included),; dudette I already told you I dont want to drive that far..

In the breakroom at my full time job their are 3 or 4 posters asking for people to support some cause, in the lobby they have three different places to donate coats, food, toys. And soon I will be getting an email from my company asking me if I would love to continue my contribution to their charity program. Also since I am a Red Cross volunteer, I have to be available in case the weather becomes disatrous.

Giving and donating feels worthless this time to me, not that I do it for the feeling of self worth, shopping for gifts feels pointless because I am question whether the gifts are really appreciated because we all know damn well it is not the thought that counts, it the type of gift. I have seen people scuff at Christmas Santa gifts, I have heard that people do demand different gift than the one the received.
I don't even what to imgine what's going on in the malls right now..

Everyone seem to want something and all I want is peace.

On my mind

It is very frustrating to be professional in an unprofessional environment
Trying not to judge others by the standards I set for myself is a feat in itself at times
Training the clueless is something I would not attempt
For my sanity, I will choose to ignore solicitation from inappropriate men
It is difficult to stay indoors working when the sun is illuminating the world outside
After a year and two months I am still flabbergasted by my favorite singer/person comment to me when we met
Finding time to read, study French, blog and relax is difficult when working 60 plus hours a week
I believe the world will change in 2012 but not in the Armageddon way people fear
I don’t like the holiday season because people get greedy and phony
I am not a traditionalist, I crave change and worship creativity
For someone like me who love hearing different views, I choose Twitter over facebook.. I don't really care to see pictures of babies and drunk events

Happy 1ST Anniversary to A view into Yina's Mind

Wow, i just realize that it is the anniversary of my blog.. What a year its been. Professional I am still in the same boat and personally I have improved in many areas. I read more now, I can speak and understand a bit more french and I seen some of the places on my list to visit.
By my next anniversary I hope to have improved in my professionally life as well as my personally.

I hope to blog more often.

Projecting your feelings unto others

It's funny how people make excuses for actions done by people they love and will criticize those they don't like for the same act. For example I was checking out a website that would remain nameless and someone mentioned that they are shock the individual the website is dedication to smoked, and quickly others came to the smoker's defense and started making excuses like ' the cigaratte the person smoked does not smell.. Whatever, the funny part is the smoker on many occasion had tried quitting and finally did, and that should have given some clue in the commenters head. These people would make great support system for people trying to quit an addiction-not.
Another conversation I found interesting was regarding an article written by someone who described how they thought the person had plastic surgery even thought the person did admit to at least doing one thing. People went on to attack of the writer of the article because how dear he/she mention it.. No one mentioned how the writer said that they thought the person was beautiful and did not need any work done.
People get over it, stop making it about you, its okay if you don't approve of plastic surgery for cosmectic purposes, but please mind your business. Attacking the writer and the magazine just says something about you for checking out the magazine in the first place and butting into other people's business.

"The year of the Magical Thinking"

You've done it or you will do it, it will happen to you, I love that line from the play it so true. Monday I went to see Vanessa Redgrave in a benefit performance of the ' The year of the Magical Thinking" for UNICEF.
Vanessa played Joan Didion in the play. The play was about the thoughts that ran through Joan's mind and the things she did or did not do they year her husband died and her daughter was ill.

The audience was mesmerized by the play and by the laughter coming from the audience I could tell most have done some magical thinking of their own and could relate to Joan, i such could.

When someone close to us die before finally accepting that they are gone, so many thoughts go through our head, we wonder like Joan Did if we could have prevented the death, if the person knew they were dying, if they were at a different location would they still be alive.. So many thoughts.. At the end of the play I was glad Joan made it and finally was able to write about it. She is a great writer. Hopefully Vanessa will get there as well.

Proud of and Happy for Alanis Morissette

Alanis ran the Biz Johnson Marathon today in order to help raise awareness for eating disorder and included as part of her team was her twin brother Wade.

I don't know how she did but am so proud that she trained and completed the race. For more information checkout her website at http://www.alanis.com/

Trying to get away with stuff you know is wrong.

Why are some people always trying to get away with stuff they know is wrong. Everywhere i look these days there are people trying to get away with doing less for more, exagerating things to make it seem more urgent than it acutally is, and disregarding rules even if it means throwing someone else under the bus without batting an eye. I guess these are they people who live in the center of the sun because the probably see the world revolving around them.

These are the same people who you never see volunteer or raise their hands to help out anyone but are the first to stretch out their hands when they see someone else giving away free things and if the miss the day free stuff is being giving out, they will be the ones complaining.

The sad thing is this behavior will last as long as humans do because most of these people have kids, or have some sought of influence over someone else's children and eventually these behavior gets passed on.

I'm starting to get

I am starting to get why people go postal, commit suicide, and stay isolated.

Guiding Light goes dark

The only reason I am sad to see GL go is that many people are now out of a Job. I confess that I did watch it sometimes, but normally to follow the character Olivia played by Crystal Chapell; (I have been watching her since "The Days of Our lives" and next week she will reprise the role of Dr. Carly Manning, watch out Hope, she and Bo do have great chemistry.)

Soap are passee for me because I do not find it entertaining watching women hate each other because they both dated the same guy who they are both friends with, or the poor people worshiping the rich and still act high and mighty when they are just as bad. Don't get me started on the men.

Most shows are trying to bring in young people to help bring in younger views, are you kidding me, most of the young actor suck and most of their story lines does not reflect what younger views want to see.

ABC's wednesday night comedies

Finally, ABC has done it- They have done it right with Modern Families and Cougar Town, I hope people watch and I hope they keep up the funnies. Yesterday while watching "Old Christine" I was thinking that there should be more shows were the lead female gets away with saying the silly things men say and voila Courtney Cox in cougar town. Modern family was hilarious as well, I was laughing all night, more than I do whiles watching "30 rock" and "the office". I love shows were people can make fun of themselves.



Please watch!!!!:). Watching these shows is a great way to end your wednesday night- Laughing your ass off.

I want a rewarding job!!!

When I say that I am bored at work does not mean I am ungrateful for having a job. My purpose of working is to do something worthwhile and fullfilling not just funneling money from my employer to my creditors, which is what I am doing now with no time to rest or breathe because I have to work two jobs to support my pathetic life.

Today at work I receive an email from HR about learning to prioritize in order to enjoy life ( paraphrasing here). Its difficult to enjoy life when you spend 16hours doing things that do not add value to your life.
I spent last weeking talking to others about solving a particular problem in the world ( which was very rejuvenating) now I sit here waiting hoping I can really be more useful.

This weekend- Malaria, The environment, Human Trafficking!!!

I attended a seminar this weekend, it was great been around people who search similar interests, the conversation was very stimulating.
I gave a presentation on how Malaria can be eradicated in sub-saharan Africa if we clean up the environment.
Every one else spoke about human trafficking.
Human Trafficking- the biggest crime behind drugs!! This involves, selling humans for sex, slavery, and domestic servitude. Currently Sweden, UK, and Denmark are doing a lot to combat it and America seem to be onboard, well Maryland.

After this seminar, I should seek a international job or one that will allow me to do more especailly problem solve in healthcare.

Sorry, I have made other plans!!

I was just thinking of how easy it is for me to adjust after someone cancels or disrupt my plans. This weekend I was going to go to Boston to spend time with my grad school roommate, yesterday she emailed and cancelled, and two minuites later I started planning a day trip to NYC. If she had called later and told be I could still go to see her, I would have had to say sorry I have made other plans.

Another similar incident happend last year when I was asked to cover some shifts at my part-time job, two weeks after I had accepted the offer to work I received a message on my phone informing that I was not needed for any of the days, like a pro miniutes later I made plans with one of my friend for one of the days;a day after I made new plans I received a call asking me if I wanted to work one of the days and as true to form the asked me to work the day that I planned on hanging out with my friend, and as you would guess my response was, sorry I have made other plans.

The need for change!!!

Maybe it is because I crave learning (according to astrology I am an eternal student) but even though I am not in school I kind of live by the school cycle. September is here and all I can think about is completing the things I wanted do in the summer and starting a new list of things to do in the fall ( which for me starts now because its getting cold and I am wearing a jacket today).

Also I am of craving change right now, yesterday I was telling one of my co-workers that if I did not have credit cards bills, I will put my things in storage, differ my student loan payments, get out of Albany for good, and then I would visit relatives in England and Italy before settling in on a fulfilling career adventure(don't ask me about my current one).

I want a permanent change of scenary, i want to experience new things, places and people which is exactly why I have been traveling a lot lately but as the cold weather approaches I will become an hermit and I now wonder if the memories of all my recent travels would be enough to sustain me until warm weather comes again, or will I have to head south or west periodically until I can make a permanent change to prevent myself from imploding?

Too much going on

Yesterday I saw a clip of Liam on Good Morning America, and I though Thank God he has his two boys and his work, they seem to be the only things keeping him going. I am glad he is still getting condolences, way to go peeps, he needs all our support and prayers. Happy Birthday to Daniel Neeson- Liam's and Natasha's youngest, he became a teenager today..

The healthcare debate is really funny, everyone is arguing different point of the bill, I am glad they hope to cover most of those without insurance with its inactment but I only want it if is plays on the same field as the current insurance company meaning it should be under the same laws and regulations, if not too many people are going to loose their jobs, it will be just like the banks. Even with availabity of the option to retrain people for jobs, there isn't many jobs for people without experience or with experience as a matter of fact.

I have been using fingerless gloves for my to be carpule turnel/nerve issues, it seems to be helping.

I need a vacation, I am operating in burn out mood.

Right hand, arm, wrist and shoulder problem

Sorry I havent been able to blog for a while. I have having issues with my right hand, shoulder and wrist that is preventing me from typing and writing but I am seeing a doctor, possible carpul turnel.

Overuse syndrome

Yesterday my doctor told me that I suffer from over use syndrome, so right now, I should not be typing because this syndrome is affect my hands and shoulder.

Movies

I saw Bruno the other day and it is hillarious, I was laughing from begining to end, this movie is not for the faint of heart.

The previews I saw made me celebrate my love of reading and exploring different subjects because I will not be going to see a movie anything soon if that is what hollywood has to offer.

Why I need one job instead of two

I have a B.S in chemistry, and a MBA with a concentration in healthcare management, you cannot tell this from the paycheck I will receive from my August work shedule. I am currently working two jobs to pay off credit card debit ( mostly from school expenses) and my college loans. In August I will spend time at home only one day because I either will be working or traveling. Thank God for the traveling because I will be able to have some kind of fun, but will all this when can I jobhunt.

Healthcare and what nots

Why do the administration think that putting 47 million or so people on government healthcare will gaurantee access to care. Access to care especially affordable preventive care is lacking even for people with insurance.
This system as it is, is broken with reimbursement at $8 for for a doctors visit, practices are not accepting medicaid client so what will this solve? Even if they use the medicare model it is still not feasible, the cost is astronomical so limits will have to be placed on reimbursement and treatment. I know they are using as a safety net individual and employment insurance, but don't they know that most people cannot afford the employment sponsored insurance because they just don't make enough money, so they will opt for the government sponsored because to them free average care is better than nothing.

I was listening to WHO podcast today and they were talking about a region in Pakistan where the healthcare system is experience a strain because millions of people have been displaced. They also mentioned that they need more female doctors because of cultural beliefs most women do want to talk to the male doctors. This made me wonder if girls in the region are encourage to pursuit higher education.

I need to let the selfish act of others not bother me, I need to remember I can only control my behavior so when someone behave selfishly I will just move on.

I have decided to pay more attention to my dietary restriction because I am breaking out a lot. On friday I ordered the book "Eat to live" recommended by good old Alanis, she says the book teaches you about nutrition and seeing her lately, I will take her advice. But she has a gentle woman that cooks for her, kind of a wife she says--yeah I need one of those- really do.

Too much to write about no time to do it

I have been so busy at both of my jobs ant travelling that I haven't any time to write, read or relax. I have wanted to blog about M.J death, how college socialize people, the purpose of life, and now Walter Conkrite death.

Kristin Scott Thomas to step in for Natasha as Desiree.

"British actress Kristin Scott Thomas has agreed to star as Desiree in A Little Night Music, a role Natasha had intended to play" according to the "Daily Mirror".

I love Kristin, she and I have the same birthday so I am excited that she was the one chosen.

This is probably one of the most difficult thing to do, not only to step in for someone who died but also for someone who is or was the best actress of her generation. Also she might be on stage with Natasha's mom and a cast that has already worked with Tasha during the pre-shows.

I am glad the role went to Kristin, she is also a brilliant actress and she will make Natasha proud. I am not sure if I will be able to see it because it will take me awhile before I will be able to see a play and not wish Tasha was on the stage.

Flying while exhausted.

OMG, after not sleeping for three days, I hopped on a plane heading to Detriot and then to Toledo at 6:30 this morning, I do not recommend flying while exhausted. There were undescribable things happening to in my head, and tummy during takeoff and landing. I was really happy that I did not eat before or during the flight because what would have happend in that instant is unacceptable.

But I am glad I made it safely and now I am hanging out with two of my aunts and two of my cousins.

P.S they are cooking and the onion gas is having a field day with my eyes and nose.

Happy fourth of July!!!!

My self improvement list

A while ago. actually it was two years ago, after graduate school while job hunting I started a list of things I wanted to do and learn to keep improving myself (this make sense because according to astrology I am the eternal learner).

This list consist of books I should read especially classics like "War and Peace" that I never had the opportunity to read whiles in school, languages (french, spanish) that I want to learn, and subjects such as art, classical music that I want to know more about. I also included names of places I wanted to see.

I am happy to say that I have been making progress. I am reading more, in fact I am currently reading "War and Peace", I am learning french, and I took a trip to Montreal. Now all I need is the new job which will be my career break that will allow me to work hard and play hard and thereby improving my self.

Don't put the cart before the horse

If you want a meaningful love filled relationship please don't put the cart before the horse when you are searching for the one, or if you want to arranged marriage is for you. I am currently watching the bachelorette and I just realized that I would not make it pass the first round, because I hate to blindly plan for anything, it will cause me great anxiety if none of these plans work out, so I kind of go with the flow.
I did not grow up in a traditional family so my ideal is different from the norm, I grewup seeing how the other half lives and it worked for me. If I fall in love I will consider marriage and all that and until then I am not going to worry about stuff like that because in my reality I have seen people happy and sad being single or married and now I am happy and I am one of those lucky people who loves their space and have more fun alone that in a group, i do enjoy hanging out with my friends and relative that amuse me but silence is always golden.

summer dreams

As the warm weather approaches, all I can do is think about strolling around my favorite city, taking in the sites, people watching, debating with myself which discount items to buy, buy hotdogs and nuts from street vendors.
Two hours to New York city seems so long but let me tell you it is worth the effort, as I approach the city either by train or car the anticipation of the thrills that awaits quickens my heartbeat. Oh do I long to live closer.

Condolence messages and tribute letters

Condolence messages and tribute letters are great ways to say goodbye or what you never had the opportunity to say. They do help you deal with lost. I wrote two last year one to my dad and another to my grand aunt. This one is for Tasha whose death affected much more than I expected it to.

A group of us from a memorial site for Natasha Richardson decided to write condolence messages to her as a way of saying goodbye, below is my letter to her written just after her death.

Dear Natasha Richardson-Redgrave-Neeson,

There is a lot that I want to say but I do not know how to say it or where to begin. When I heard about your mishap, I felt an enormous amount of sadness; I asked my angels to help you through your ordeal and return you whole to your love ones, I pleaded with God to spare your life, I even asking him to take me instead of you. When I heard that you had died, an unexplainable grief that left me in a state of bewilderment, came over me, the hurt, sadness still lingers, and part of me does not want it to go away completely for fear of forgetting you.

Not only I am a fan of your work, I am also a fan of the kind of person you were. You always exude kindness, genuineness, luminosity, compassion, and a joie de vie. I have always believed that there are angels among us on earth and I sensed something special about you, I sensed you were one of God’s angels. Although I feel sad that I never had the opportunity to meet you, I am glad I got the opportunity to see your marvelous performances on screen. I am also glad that I had the opportunity hear and read your views on a variety of subjects from the many interviews you gave.

Reading and listening to the words your nearest and dearest used describe you, makes me pleased to know that I have been accurate in judging your character and I feel glad that I had admired and looked up to you when you were alive and I will continue to do so. I hope that you are not still sad about dying so very young, I know you miss your family, and they miss you dearly. I will miss not seeing you on the screen and on the stage. I will miss listening to you speak, seeing you smile and being affectionate with those you love especially your husband.

Images of you and your Liam make me believe true love does exists, I feel sad for him the most. Because of You and Liam, I believe that with great love, respect and commitment, a successful relationship is possible. I know no one is perfect, but I think if we humankind had gotten together to rank people by the greatest of their character, you will be one of the ones at the top of the list. I love you for being all that you were. I am in awe of the way you lived your life and you will forever remain that way in my heart. Because of you Natasha, I want many great things including to live my life to the fullest, not be boring, not to take anything for granted, and lastly to be compassionate to others and myself.

Please continue to rest in peace,

With love, respect and great admirationMoriyina Cole

My broadway musical dream_

I love musicals and plays. Last night after watching the Tony award show, I had the most amazing dream; I dreamt that I was the creator of a very successful musical on Broadway starring my favorite talents. What a dream, I wish I were that talented and creative; I find it very difficult to come with the type of ideas that are destined to become great musicals or plays. I am great at analyzing so I will make a decent critic or talent scout, but Hollywood will not use me as scout because talent will triumph over looks any day for me.

''Friends who knows how to be Friends"

I love this line from the song "Incomplete" by miss Morissette. Whenever I am thinking about something she comes out with a line that describes it, Alanis and I should meet and write a book. With all the social network site popping up, the definition of friend is being use loosely.

Happy Birthday to my Favorite June 1 Gems

Happy Birthday Juliet Sho-Cole, Shawana Smith, Justine Henin and to super twins Alanis and Wade Morissette. You all rock!!!

Below is something I put together for Alanis because she has helped my understand myself better. I chose Incomplete and Sorry to myself because I like that she has a 360 view of herself and I hope to be able understand myself the same way. My favorite song of hers is ''Everything' and she knows why. Hope you all with enoy it.

Song-Incomplete by Alanis Morissette, from her last "Album Flavors of Entanglement

Sorry to Myself by Alanis Morissette- from Her Feast of Scraps Album.

Happy Birthday Alanis. Continue to strive to be whole.

The Gemini female- In Honor of Alanis and Yours truly

In honor of Alanis' and my birthday. She got me to know my gemini trait, thereby giving the tools to navigate the world better.

From http://www.novareinna.com/constellation/geminifemale.html

Positive Traits: adaptable, versatile, intellectual, communicative, spontaneous, eloquent, youthful, lively, talkative, amusing, witty and logical.
Negative Traits: changeable, restless, inquisitive, inconsistent, superficial, cunning, nervous, tense and something of a gossip.
Likes: talking, novelty, variety, anything unusual and working on multiple projects at the same time.
Dislikes: being alone, being in a rut, mental inaction, conventional learning and feeling tied down.

The Gemini Female.
The Gemini female is symbolic of the modern intelligent woman, questioning every convention and/or tradition. She is fun to know, although sometimes difficult to pin down. Her view of life is quite original and her mental qualities are first-class, but she is blessed with a light touch and is never boring. She likes to try out her ideas in conversation, flitting from one topic to another. Entertaining and amusing others is this female's idea of how to spend a pleasant evening. Still, she never imposes her views upon those around her, however forthright they may be. Perhaps the worse fault associated with this woman is a strange elusiveness that could be interpreted by some as the shelving of responsibility. Charming and lovable, she is not keen to adopt the more serious tasks of life prematurely and is never ready for an early long-term relationship. Indeed, it is preferable that this female remain unattached during her twenties so she can eventually settle down a little later in life with few regrets. The woman governed by this Sign needs constant change in order to be happy and if she is unable to change her scene, then she will change the cast of characters by keeping a variety of friends on a merry-go-round of entertaining...although not usually of a very elaborate scale. As a sweetheart, she is stimulating and never tedious. However, she is frequently somewhat undomesticated...or at least not particularly interested in the practical mechanics of running a household. Indeed, the Gemini woman's ideal home is a place where her family can feel free and relaxed, especially in expressing their individualities. As a mother, she is great fun but not always tolerant. In essence, her patience tends to run out rather quickly.
First and foremost an intellectual, the female ruled by Gemini will maintain her outside activities while in a long-term relationship. Of course, such activities may consume a great amount of time and a partner may resent this diffusion of interests. However, if there is to be harmony in the home, this condition had best be treated with tact. The Gemini woman is often talented in some well-paid line of employment...for she is not the long-suffering type who will work for next-to-nothing. Consequently, she has been referred to as mercenary. Indeed, she does rate herself very highly and demands compensation for her efforts. Refined and meticulous with an abhorrence for untidiness, the female governed by Gemini seldom undertakes her own work, instead directing efficiently and commanding obedience. This is a scintillating, well-informed and worldly soul who shines brightly in society. There is a certain flirtatious nature here but it is usually being employed in order to sharpen the wits and enjoy a battle of words. The common sense and protective instinct of this woman is exceedingly strong and she would never sacrifice a worthwhile relationship for one that she knows to be no more than a little conversational romance.

My 16 hours in Montreal

Montreal is a magnificent city. I visited it for the first time on this past weekend. The first thing I noticed as I drove along the Champlain Bridge was the breathtaking view of the city. As we approached the city limits, as the building grew larger, I knew right away that I was going to love exploring it.



View from Pont Champlain (the champlain Bridge)


Entering the city on University street


My friend and I got to our hotel earlier than the allowed check in time and luckily, were able to check in. After checking into our room, we set out to explore downtown Montreal with the help of my maps. Our first stop was the famous Saint Catherine Street, one of the longest commercial streets in Northern America.



Rue Saint Catherine




After exploring the vicinity of St. Catherine Street, we had lunch/ mid afternoon snack at a restaurant on McGill Street, a popular location for tourists and students.


An art piece done by a blind person depicting humanity

In the evening after a change of clothes, we went to Crescent Street, another famous location lined with bars/restaurant and clubs. The street was buzzing with excitement; every establishment on the street packed with people and music could be heard throughout the neighborhood.

After dinner, we went dancing on a spinning dance floor in a club on Crescent Street. The night though turned sour when three men from Cameroon with no sense of personal space, or respect for women, decided to violent our rights as human beings as they refuse to hind to the word no. We ended up leaving the clue earlier than planned and went off to bed.

The next day was my birthday and the weather was perfect especially for the sightseeing tour that we booked the day before. The two-hour tour around Montreal was magnificent; I am in awe of those responsible for this design and atmosphere. Whiles on the tour we saw the Notre Dame, China Town, Old Montréal, the Casino Montreal, and Mount Royal as well as many spectacular site.

Notre Dame
Voted the ugliest building in Monteal located in Chinatown

A view from on top Mount Royale

Miracles happens here at Mount Royal's Saint Joseph's Oratory

We left Montreal at 6pm after visiting the city under the city, an underground maze of shops, offices and apartments, which I think is a brilliant concept especially for cities like Montreal where temperature deeps as low as 35 below zero.

Inside the Underground City

I left Montreal wanting more, I left wishing I lived there. I cannot wait to go back.

Nearly lost my trip to montreal hier

Yesterday I got home after spending all day thinking about my upcoming weekend trip to Montreal, ready to pack and I could not find my passport. I looked everywhere for the little bugger and it was nowhere to be found; It was not in its normal location, or in my any my suitcases, or in my purses, or in any of my bags, or in my storage closets, or in my receipt bag.

After two hours of searching, I went online and found out how I can get it replaced within 24 hours for $174, which I was willing to do so because I have to get to Montreal. But their was a catch, as a naturalized citizen since I do not have a US issued birth certificate I would have to use my citizenship certificate as proof of my identity, but I did not care I was happy I knew where my certificate was or did I?

I went into my files where I was certain the certificate was and no certificate, I was crushed, no God I pleaded, please do not take my trip away, especially this weekend is my birthday weekend. So unenthusiastically, I start the search again this time for the certificate. I looked for it everywhere but to no avail. I even found the receipt for my last passport in the envelope the certificate came in.

I decided to call immigration but it was three hours too late, they closed at 6pm and it was already past 9 pm. I did not want to give up so I put on my coat, went to the 24 hours kinko, and got new passport pictures taken of me. I was going to wait until the morning to call immigration and then go to the post office to get a replacement passport. I got home, this time determined not to sleep until I found the passport or certificate; I even vowed to stay home from work.

I started the search over, something told me to look in my receipt bag again but I keep shouting that I have already looked in there several times. I finally gave in to the voice in my head and emptied out the content of my receipt bag, as I flipped through the receipts I found my passport.

September 2008 Alanis visit to newburry comics.

Alanis on her way to her concert from Newburry comics- she said hope to see you there to me.

Alanis arrives at Newburry, we were all laughing at her driver.

My gift next to Alanis!

Alanis did not want pictures taken during her performance but some of us got couple pics.

Fun saturday night- another sleep paralysis episodes

Sleep Paralysis, someone has conjured up a name for the period of paralysis that I experience whenever I sleep on my back. As far back as I can remember there have been nights when I will wake up from deep sleep paralyzed and this condition normally lasts from several seconds to several minutes. I normally wake up unable to move any part of my body and I will be screaming for help but with no avail because I am unable to produce any vocal sounds. It feels as if some force is holding me down, preventing me from lifting my hands, legs or head. At times, it feels like I am drowning in air

My last episode was stranger that the others, this past Saturday, I was lying on my side and suddenly I woke up to someone or something holding down my left arm, wrist, ankle, and pressing my lower back. It felt as if one person was trying to push me to the other side of the bed, whilst another was holding me down. This happened twice on Saturday night, during both episodes I tried scream but was unable to because my tongue was heavy, and it also felt as if I was thinking the words I was attempting to scream.
.
According to wikipedia, physiologically, sleep paralysis is closely related to the paralysis that occurs as a natural part of REM (rapid eye moment) sleep. Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain wakes from REM state but the body paralysis persists. This leaves me fully conscious but unable to move. - Fun.

Check out the internet to read the many folklore explanations of this condition, I am going to stick with wikipedia's.

This just explains why my biggest fear is to be paralyzed.

Enormous love, total commitment, the key to successful relationships

I am still discovering things about Natasha, in one of her last interview she spoke about her relationship with Liam, see link below. She said something that I wanted to comment on; she did not think people should look to her marriage to Liam as a template for the perfect marriage. True True, I give her that but since no marriage is perfect I think theirs should be the template for how successful a marriage will be when people are truly in love and totally committed to one another.

http://www.people.co.uk/news/tm_headline=my-love-by-natasha%26method=full%26objectid=21217938%26siteid=93463-name_page.html

If she were here I would say this this her:

Tasha,The reason you stated why your marriage work is especially why we should hold you and Liam up as an example of what a marriage should be. You love each other enormously and you are committed to working together and staying together despite your differences. Those are the foundation for a stable and long-lasting relationship. In addition, you and Liam took the time to know one another, you respect each other and therefore you are able to deal the difficult aspect of each other’s personality. You and Liam work together to deal with the touch times.



For Mila, I tried it and it worked for me. Here is part of the article, I think I will need to people the UK magazine for the whole thing.

22 March 2009
MY LOVE, BY NATASHA
EXCLUSIVE
By Garth Pearce
Tragic actress Natasha Richardson spoke of her enormous love for husband Liam Neeson in a rare interview shortly before her death.
The devoted stars who had been together for 17 years and married for 14 had expected to grow old happily together.
Natasha, 45, whose funeral takes place today five days after her death from a skiing accident, said: "I do not want to hold us up as having the template for a perfect marriage. We go through difficult times but we also go through fabulous times. Sometimes we are separated, going back and forth for work, and it can be very rough on a relationship.
Advertisement
//');
//]]>
"But what I do know is that we love each other enormously and have made a choice - that this is it for life and we are happy."
British-born Natasha and Liam, 56, had rarely spoken about their marriage since suing a newspaper 11 years ago for suggesting they were breaking up. But in a recent interview about their relationship, Natasha - who gave the libel damages to charity - said: "We get scared in the public eye, particularly when your marriage is discussed."
Natasha met Irish heartthrob Liam in 1991 in a Broadway play. She was still married to producer Robert Fox and was reluctant to discuss if it was love at first.
She said: "Neither of us imagined in the early stages that we would be together. We were like chalk and cheese or oil and water.
"Friends would say 'Oh, his reputation is not good. You watch it!' I was scared going into that relationship but it is the best thing I ever did."
Haggard-looking Liam arrived on Friday with sons Michael, 13, and Daniel, 12, for Natasha's wake at the American Irish historical society in New York where her coffin lay. Other relatives there included Natasha's actress mum Vanessa Redgrave, 72, movie sister Joely Richardson, 44, and niece Daisy Bevan, 17.
Natasha's life-support was switched off on Wednesday after she suffered brain injuries when she hit her head in a ski lesson.
Natasha's last movie role is of a woman struggling to cope with her husband's death, it emerged yesterday.
She did a voiceover of the wife of British climber George Mallory who vanished trying to conquer Everest in 1924. Director Anthon Geffen may dedicate The Wildest Dream to Natasha on release.
'We were like chalk and cheese or oil and water. I was scared going into the relationship but it turned out to be the best thing I've ever done'
}
Print article
Email to a friend

Luv you .

The Fountainhead- by two

The main themes in the Fountainhead centered on individualism versus collectivism. Some of the lesson that I took from the book includes:

People are not meant to share a brain, they must think for themselves, not just adopt someone else’s opinion as their own.

People must define their own self-image, they must not use standard set by others to form their identity especially since popularity is flighty.

Be true to yourself because whatever you do not everyone will like you, understand or support you, and so to keep your own sanity, be your true self.

It is not that you should not be in agreement with other on various issues; agree with others because you do not because you think you must.

Some people are here on this earth to build and create things and we should allow them the freedom to do so.

Some people are here to put into use what others create, if you do not allow people to create freely, who will make they things you need to use?

All in All I like the book. There were couple characters I did not like but what can I say, they are who they are I cannot change that, I just have to be mindful of the antics of people like them-

AMFAR- Foundation for AIDS

Every year I pick certain charities to support. This year in honour of Natasha Richardson-Redgrave I decided to go with AMFAR since she was very passionate about their cause, which is to find the cure for AIDS and help those living with the disease.

I am not a optimist as Natasha was, but for Her sake I will hope that a cure is found soon. Not being alive when a cure is found will be one of her regret, she vowed once to remain here until it happens. Wherever she is, if the after life does exist, she knows the truth.

I am going to dedicate May 11th to Natasha ( Be fierce but compassionate day), which is fitting because it was her birthday and every year I will make a donation to AMFAR.
If you can please join me, you are also free to make a donation anytime.

Craving KFC chicken

Ever since I tried the new KFC chicken, I have been craving it. I have done well in resisting going to KFC. I just agreed to help out at a church's Brook's BBQ chicken sale. I love Brook's bbq chicken, and true to form as soon as I smell it, I will start craving it.

I think I am going to get a meat dish tonight to see if I can get over my chicken cravings.

Reading "The Fountainhead' by Ayn Rand -Part 1

It takes much strength to be an individualist; I am in awe of people who are not afraid to voice opinions that differs from the majority, something for which I strife. At times while reading the book “The Fountainhead” by Ayn Rand, I feel frustrated with Howard Roark who is one of the main characters in the book, for turning away clients that does not want his vision. For Howard caving in, doing what is others expect from architects would make him rich but miserable, so he chose staying poor and having his dignity unlike Peter Keating another main character whose work is approved by the masses but he is still not because he can never be himself.
I cannot wait to see which of these two men will triump in the end- professionally, personally and emotionally.

My Natasha Tribute Video-Theme is unconditional love.Although she is gone, her love will forever remain.

She was a great inspiration to me for many reasons which I would not list; this is for her and those that love and admire her.

Here is a link to an article one of her friend wrote as a tribute-

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/celebrity/article5949824.ece

Saturday-4-18-2009

Saturday morning I woke up at 8:56 am, which is a bit early for me, since I love to sleep in on Saturday and I only get up before 11 if I have to work. I got out bed and headed straight for my couch because the night before I had planned to watch the reminder of my Natasha’s movies that I bought and I was going to start with “The widow’s peak”. I looked out the screen door and saw that it was grey outside and I wondered what the temperature was. Therefore, I logged on to the internet to check the forecast for the day. I went on to Yahoo’s web site and saw that the weather was going to stay cloudy and a bit cold so I decided I would continue with my original plan. Instead of closing my computer, I went on to check the weather in New York City, which was a great idea because to my amazement I saw that it was going to be sunny and 74 degrees. Then I got a brilliant idea, I decided I must go to the city, so at 12:00 pm I was on a train to New York City.

The ride down was great, I sat on the side of the Hudson River, and periodically I would look up from the book I was reading and watch the Hudson River moving run along us. The river though murky glistered because the sun shone on it with great intensity.

When I arrived in New York, I exited the station at the 33rd street exit, and as soon as I step onto the sidewalk, I felt like I was home. I love the atmosphere of cities and off all the cities I have visited, there is something about New York’s, it welcomes me warmly and makes me feel great about myself.

The sun, moon, stars an planet and God's purpose

I think the sun, moon, stars and planets greatly influence the life forces in the universe. Think about, when the sun is out and it is light outside, we are awake, when the moon comes out and it is dark outside, we go to bed. Those people who work at night always have problem with their sleep cycle, when you travel to another time zone, you experience jet lag. There are animals and other life forces who cannot stay awake during the day and some that sleep most of the days of the year, God, the universe, created the planetary system to guide us through life.

contemplating the meaning of Life

What is the meaning of Life?
Why am I here? I better have find my purpose or else when I died if the others side exists I will not be a happy camper when I get there.
Why did I get up this morning?
What am I doing in Albany New York?
Why was I born in Sierra Leone?
Why am I soooo sooo short?
Why do I love?
Why do I hate?
Why can't I cry on a wimp?
Why haven't I see Paris?

The dumb things I do:

The dumb things I do:
Not saying “NO” when I am barely functioning
Wearing fabrics such as wool, that irritates my skin
Drinking too much coffee knowing that if might trigger a migraine attack
Not going to the gym even though I know I need to in order to stay energized
Not taking time to do things for me
This list is endless, I must change or else it –poof, I will implode.

Natasha Richardson

It's great when people close to someone you admire describes them as you thought they are like. http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/celebrity/article5949824.ece
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1163336/My-dearest-daughter--Vanessa-Redgraves-heartfelt-letter-beloved-Tash.html
Natasha sure will be missed by all that knew her and by us fans who wished we did. If I am to list my favorite actress she will make the top 5. If I am to list my favorite actress that has past she would make the top 5. She always seems warm, classy and genuine, I am sad that I never got to met her but I am glad to have her movies. Images of her and her husband Liam makes me believe true love still exist and I feel sad the most for him. Her sons will need all the strength and support in the world to get over this, she seems that she was a great mom.

In 2007 her mom wrote a public letter to her apologizing for not being the mom to her and her sister Joely the way they are to their children. In the letter the woman Vanessa describes is someone I hope to be. I am glad for Vanessa and Natasha's sake that letter was written, it should serve as an inspiration for us all.

I recently watched Vanessa in atonement and I thought about her and was going to rent one of her movies but never got around to it, I guess this weekend will be Natasha movie weekend. My dearest and deepest sympathies to those who are mourning her departure, may God send angels to be with them as they mourn the angel they lost.

"Earth Hour"

On March 28 at 8:30, a global event called “Earth Hour” is taking place to bring awareness to the issues our planet namely climate change. The event is organized by the world wildlife fund and Alanis has done a public service announcement (PSA) for them in which she clips her toenails (glamorous).

http://popdirt.com/alanis-morissette-the-huge-turn-off-earth-hour-psa/72386/

The word global is used loosely because there are many regions of planet without electricity and will not be able to partake; maybe the can turn off their candles and or lanterns. The world global is also being used loosely because less than 1% of the planet’s human population is aware of this event.

I cannot wait to hear about the time square population’s reaction when the lights go out. Over 1000 cities are participating in the event, and as for me, maybe I will be part of the Time Square crowd.

If you have the chance, what regret will you change?

I have discovered yet another show titled “Being Erica”. I found it on the soap channel and it is new, and it hails from Canada. It is about a 32-year-old woman who one day realized that her life is not what she dreamt it would be and miraculously a mysterious psychologist will be giving her the opportunity to go back and change the things she regrets.

This made me start thinking of the things I regret and wish like Erica I can go back and change. If I do change it, will my life turn out any different? My list is to long to list, so what are your regrets? My main one is College. I would change my major and go to school maybe in California and lived on campus. I would also do a semester abroad.


This also makes me realize how our choices as adult play a big part in determining our life. I can only imaging how many other different lifestyles I could have. The one I have now is based on many decisions I made in the past and the decisions I make now will determine my life ten years from now.

Nick Drake- What I would have said if I had met him

I soooo understand. You are not alone. Don't give up.

I just finished watching a documentary about Nick Drake, a gemini voice who did not deal with is depression really well and lost his life at 26. I wished he had know that being depressed is part of his make up. I wished he had known that he was not alone. But his life ended when and they way it was meant too.
So please Check out his songs. I love "Pink Moon".

Where is the incentive to work harder? Why do all the singles owe more taxes?

The news of the proposed cap on executives salaries, on charitable donations and the idea of tax increase for rich is tempting me to question my drive to be make a great living. What is the point of encouraging people to seek higher education in order for them to get a better job if they are going to be forced to give most of their earnings away?

April 16 will be here soon and I have yet to do my taxes for fair of owing the government. Usually by now my refund is in the bank. Every year have been getting less and less state refund and I am certain that this year I am going to owe just because I am single. Is there anyway I can use the portion I pay for the things that I don't benefit from to pay the amount I will owe?

French anyone?

Bonjour tout le mode,
I am currently reviewing French and I hope to say more than "how are you" by May. I have not blogged much for many reasons including the fact that I am tres fatigue de travailler at both Arcadia court and at HMS, I have been trying to figure out a suitable diet to eliminate my digestive problems and also I have been trying to define my career objectives and goals.
I still have much to do, but first I must break to rest. Some of the progress I have made includes trying to stay away from dairy and citric product (which seems to help). Soon I hope to be writing and speaking in French, hopefully in Paris or Montreal. As for the career thing, I did put my objectives and my goals down on paper and the problem I must now tackle is finding ways to accomplish them.
C’est tout pour maintenant!

Concert goers- Brazillians versus North Americans

I am upset at the people who attended Alanis’ concert in Boston and New York along with me. I had fun and I have no complaint about her performance but if you check out these pictures and comments, you will know why I am upset.

http://www.alanismorissette.info/viewtopic.php?t=46048

The Brazilians who attended to her recent show rock because they are singing along with her and are on their feet dancing throughout her performances. At the New York and Boston, show those who were singing and dancing were told to sit-down by the lazy-drug-couch-potato audience members. Alanis is feeding off the energy for the audience and she as well as her band mates are at their best when the audience is psyched. She was having so much fun in Brazil that she allowed her assistant to go on stage with her to film the audience. She definitely those moments wants to remember.

When she releases her next album, I should go on tour with her (sorry you cannot come with) so I can school the audience on what needs to be done to experience a Brazil-style Alanis performance. It is difficult for my fellow Geminian to become tres-energize when the people around her somber, bless her heart she does try.

Life path

I am currently reading “The Time Traveler’s Wife”. Yesterday I was excited when I found out that the female character Clare shares my birthday. She was born five years before me. I am now at the part where she is about to describe her 21st birthday- the day she is engaged. It was a Sunday; the very Sunday I had my sweet 16 brunch, which was not so sweet. This has me thinking about life path, fate, and destiny; how much freedom do we really have in deciding what path our life takes. Now I am thinking about how many other ways I could have spent that Sunday to have a great memory like did had on her 21st birthday. My 21st was not that great either, I was living as a poor college student in Michigan at the time, and coincidentally that is where the Clare grew up.

Random- Control/Pedestal

Why do people feel the need to control others? From my observation, people who like to control other lack empathy and are incapable of unconditional love. I cannot see myself controlling anyone, I crave change and I need constant stimulating. How can I get that if everyone around things and acts the same-Maybe I am the controlling one.

“This Pedestal is high and I am afraid of heights”, this phrase from the song Not the Doctor by Alanis Morissette comes to mind as I sit quiet and watch the world’s response to President Obama. I am happy for him but I do not want to be him. He like the rest of us he is human, as human beings, we all make mistakes, as human beings we are not all good though most aspire to be good. To all those who have him on a pedestal please be aware that he might not be able to provide you with all you desire from him.

National Hug day

Today is national hug day or as I call it, “national you will die if you get in my personal space day”. Why do huggers need a day? The only thing that keeps me from freaking out when someone hugs me is the fact that I can foresee it. Anticipating hugs prevent my brain from telling me that the hands around me are smothering me. So beware, do not sneak a hug from me.

The Miracle on the Hudson:

The Miracle on the Hudson:

Am I the only one not surprised when incidents like the one that happened on the Hudson River do not end in a catastrophe? Am I the only one that is not shock by the news of the on-lookers willingness to help those affected? Today on my way to work I was listening to my usual AM radio program and I was a bit taken by how surprised the hosts and callers were that everyone on the plane survived.

Have faith people. Miracles happens everyday. There are still good people out there.

The show "Whatever Martha" - My new find.

I want in on this show. Why don't I get this lucky. I do not want to toot my own horn but I am funny and I can be tres sarcastic. During the show, Martha Stewart’s daughter Alexis and her daughter’s friend Jennifer watches tapes of the Martha Stewart’s show and critic it. Both Alexis and Jennifer are hilarious. Martha did torture her daughter when Alexis was a child but one thing she did right was teach her how to be independent. It is evident to me that Alexis is quite the perfectionist and she can have her own Martha Stewart type show.

Question for AM's webpage-how does love show up in your life as a verb

My response-Since to me “actions speak louder than words”, I am sometimes puzzled when I hear some people whose action I find questionable say it to me. The word love was not use around me when I was growing up but it does appear as an action in my life. Love makes itself known as a verb in my life when I am babysitting my friend’s kids or hanging out with my little cousins, and nephews and nieces. Here are some ways the little one use to show me that they care and these actions transcends time, race and gender: By crying when I leave, by making sure they are sitting as close as possible to me on a couch, by locking me in a room to prevent me from leaving, by picking fights with other kids to get my attention and by interrogating me when I am not where they expect me to be (by far my favorite because the questions I get during these sessions are hilarious).

Now hope she gets to read it which I doubt since as true to form her mailbox is full. This is very frustrating Missy- get a bigger mail box.

Train-wreck television is back with a vengence

What with reality shows such as “Mama’s boy”, “The bachelor” and “True Beauty”? The worse of these is True Beauty which is telling its contestants that the contestants are being judge on their outer beauty but secretly judging them on their inner beauty, whatever that is. But wait, the judges’ court is made up of people who have made a name for themselves by capitalizing on outer beauty.

As for “Mama’s Boy”, three mothers obsessed with their son’s move into a house with 30 girls hoping to pick a suitable sex partner for their boys, the boys living in a separate house are also hoping to pick the mother of their children from the group of girls. My favorite is the mother who has made it known that his son’s future sex partner can only be Jewish, it was fun to see her flip-out when she saw her son making out with a non-Jewish girl- a black girl as a matter of fact.

Finally, “The bachelor” I thought they would have run out of girls by now but sadly that is not the case, the producers were able to find 25 more annoying estrogen field species for this special bachelor whose name has slipped my mind. I hear he is engaged to one of the girls already and spoiler alert; it is the one in wearing the blue dress during the last episode.