OMG, it is starting, everywhere I look, I see signs asking me to please give to this and that cause, every moment soliciting emails, I go home to what I hope will be solitude only to find mails waiting for me from organizations who have gotten my emails from others I have donated to. Not only that, my Per Diem job ( one that I have been hoping to fade out) expects me to cover all their available shift especially around holiday as if I do not deserve time holiday break just as their regular staff. Even when I told them I was over-worked and that I could only do 15 hours next month, they responded thanking me and then added if I would consider working at another house 25 min away ( yeah for the same lousy 9 dollars an hour before tax, gas not included),; dudette I already told you I dont want to drive that far..
In the breakroom at my full time job their are 3 or 4 posters asking for people to support some cause, in the lobby they have three different places to donate coats, food, toys. And soon I will be getting an email from my company asking me if I would love to continue my contribution to their charity program. Also since I am a Red Cross volunteer, I have to be available in case the weather becomes disatrous.
Giving and donating feels worthless this time to me, not that I do it for the feeling of self worth, shopping for gifts feels pointless because I am question whether the gifts are really appreciated because we all know damn well it is not the thought that counts, it the type of gift. I have seen people scuff at Christmas Santa gifts, I have heard that people do demand different gift than the one the received.
I don't even what to imgine what's going on in the malls right now..
Everyone seem to want something and all I want is peace.
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