Where would we be if everything stays the same?

 The other day I wondered about humanity and where we would be if nothing changed from when it was first created or discovered. I have always been curious about the past, probably because I yearn to know what my Dad’s parents looked like. There are many past inventions and practices I do cherish.

 Being born in a place where cultural norms seem to matter more than human development, there is a deep knowing in me,  that I will choose being exhaled over having my rights and dignity trampled upon, in a heartbeat.

Unfulfilled Dreams - Farewell Lolo

  

During the heights of the Covid-19 Pandemic, I took solace in an online French Conversation meet-up group. I joined to finally get on with my goal of being comfortable speaking French and improving my listening and speaking capacity. Saturday Morning I received sad news, the host of this Meet-up Lourdes Lopez died during sometimes during the night. Lolo, please rest in peace, when I make it to your homeland of Puerto Rico, your favorite places, Montreal, Italy, and France, I will take your memory with me.  Thank you for creating a warm and comfortable space for me and for the other Francophiles you brought into my life.  Sorry for the dreams not realized. I take heart that you are no longer in pain.

Many dreams will remain unfulfilled but not for the lack of trying. Life at times will have its own path it rather takes, despite your pleas. Walls can appear from nowhere, opportunities can disappear overnight and priorities may need to be revised in a blink of an eye.

So as they cherish those happy moments. For me, I will try to, cherish those moments in which I feel free, those moments where I can't stop laughing, those moments where I notice the beauty of life. 

I am grateful for my online community..

 

Success

 Be careful who you insult with your definition of success because even if your definition is what's in our dictionary, you don't know where you or they will be tomorrow. Life is also about the journey. #letslifteachotherup or #stepaside

Life Plans, Standing for those treated unfairly.

 Based on how I observe the world, its systems, and its inhabitants, and for the fact that I am not using my Chemistry degree or pursuit psychology which remains a passion, I will excel in Consulting. My MBA degree, experience with people, and knowledge acquired in business are all great assets. The goal now is to seek out jobs that put me on this track.

A few weeks a bully responded to my question of they kept harassing someone who has asked to be left alone. They responded that the person they are bully should act intelligently. So I tagged the World Health Organization in my next reason telling them sarcastically that this would make a great campaign. The bully then responded that they will love to work on a campaign aimed at teaching people what bullying is. I wrote back that we all know what bullying is and for instance when you comment on someone that they deem offensive and ask you to stop as well as plead for you to leave them alone, continuing making nasty comments to the person is bullying and It shows also shows a lack of empathy. I should have also added that since as human beings we will not like everyone we met or know of and it is also in our own best interest to stay away from those whom we do like because the behavior of attacking someone has dangerous and life-altering consequences for most. After my comments, the bully left me alone.
Taking it on the chin is not always right, the soul of mankind is at risk, it is time it evolves for the better. I am glad this person getting bullied did not back down, she stood up for herself and others, if those bullies did not give her the respect she deserves, many others including me have and will continue to do so.

End violence against women- A great approach

Burundi is doing something that the rest of the world must do to end the violence agianst women.

Check out this presentation from Euronews.- Here

My Christmas gift to you

 

To the world, I give the gift of connection to a higher power.  It is a gift that you can reach for it anytime and in any place, unlike your favorite toy, sweater, or the baby blanket you've had for 70 years.  My favorite thing about Christmas is the carols found in hymns. Listening and singing to Carol makes me remember that there is a power greater than me, a power I can always count on. Some of those lyrics and melody were written when the writer or composer needd something more or felt the world needed something more. Besides my connection to my God, the other essential need I have for this Christmas is electricity.  

 

I am not going back!!

 

After the US election result was called, I saw a comment on a social media post that said “I feel like things are back to normal”.  Looking back at my life in society, nothing for me has felt normal. I don’t want any of what could have been better to be normal. I expect better for humanity.  I don’t want to go back, or backward for fear of reliving the past. I want to move on and go forward. I want to go forward because in the future I still believe people who differ in their ideology will still respect each other’s humanness and agree to disagree instead of wanting to wipe each other off the face of the earth. I want to move forward because I still look forward to a future where I am seen as a person first, not as only my gender or as only what people think about my heritage. I want to move forward because I want my life to be better, I want to live and love fully and I want to make goals and do whatever it takes to achieve it because in the future this is possible.

As i go forward i will take with me Traditional Hymns and Christmas Carol and Classic Movies, including the Sound of Music from the past.

 

C19 Closure

I was telling a friend that I was feeling lazy to do anything, even the things I enjoy like going for walks in the city or practicing French and Spanish. She responded that it is not laziness but something else. This led me to the term C-19 Closure, which I explained as the state of not being able to plan for the future, or giving up on a few moments of joy because you know that you have to go back to a restricted life.

It is impossible for us to be happy every moment of our waking life and hence we are encouraged to take time throughout the day or as often as possible to “smell the roses”, and to give thanks for the good in our lives.

Lately, I have been failing at this, because of C-19 Closure. I am finding it difficult to fool my Brain into smelling roses because it knows that as soon as I smell that rose, C-19 closure will happen and to prevent the deep slide into the dark abbess of C-19 closure, my Brain does whatever it can to keep me safe.

The other day, when I found myself alone in my shared apartment, I had a thought, my Brain immediately piped in and said “you can run around the house naked all you want and enjoy your freedom, but why bother, you still have to go outside with a mask on and the Canadian border is closed, so traveling to Montreal is a no go."'

Then I thought maybe I should go into Manhattan, it piped in again and said “okay, you want to go into the city,  do you feel safe wandering into your go-to spot for a bathroom break?”

Then I yelled forget it, I will go and stand outside and get some fresh air. It then said, “You want to go outside for two minutes for fresh air, really? please, by the time you put on your coat, and mask, and refill your hand sanitizer and alcohol the Sun would have set.”

 Me, to the Brain, whatever, I am taking a nap.

Luckily for the rest of my body, well including the Brain, my perseverance and curiosity lead me to dive deeper into the workings of the brain, and the psychology around accomplishing goals. What I unearthed was much research, talks, and quotes that led me in the direction of seeking out ways to be free in the presence of restrictions.

I learned that to stay sane and motivated during this time of uncertainty, I should focus on what I can do now.  I learned that I should develop a few tricks to center myself which can be done by using my breath to either energize myself when I am feeling lethargy or calm myself when I am feeling anxious.  I learned that I should take a timeout and practice mindfulness by just focusing on what I am doing and let it be just that; just stay in the moment.

Today I came upon this post on Instagram by Colombian Actor/ Psychologist/Coach George Slebi.-@psicoslebi and It said it all; my game plan.

"Lo Pradadojico de Este Encierra Pandemico es que podemos ejercer nuestra propia libertad" G. Slebi

Translation by Google translate:

"The Paradox of this Pandemic enclosure is that we can exercise our freedom" G. Slebi.

 

 

 

The colors in my life

I love Colombia Actress Caroline Gomez’s (star of the must watch La Venganza de Analia/ Her Mother’s Killer on Netflix) response to me after I responded to her post asking “what color is your life today”.

“esooo! La alegría la encontraremos representada con el color amarillo ya que se vincula con la luz del sol y el estado positivo que experimentamos con la llegada de la primavera.” Verde: es el color de la naturaleza y la esperanza. En un tono oscuro aporta confianza y prosperidad”.

Translation courtesy of Google translates:

"This! We will find joy represented by the color yellow as it is linked to the sunlight and the positive state we experience with the arrival of spring. "Green: it is the color of nature and hope. In a dark tone, it brings confidence and prosperity”.

 

 

She had me thinking of the meaning of all the colors and how they present in my life. Here is what I came up with:

 

Pink- Unconditional Love, Harmony, Femininity

Red -Power, Stability, Passion, Fire

Orange- Emotion Expression, Creativity, Success

Yellow- Lightness, Joy, Optimism, the Sun

 Green- Prosperity, Growth, Masculinity, Nature

Blue- Communication, Honesty, Trust, the Sky

Purple- Inner Peace, Intuition, Wisdom

Black- Bold

Brown- Grounding

White-Innocent

Silver - Classy

Gold- Wealth

 

So I am asking you, how do color show up in your life? Does your mood affect the color of clothing or jewelry you chose to wear?

 

 

 

The benches outside the park

 

I posted on Instagram today that I was grateful for the benches outside the park near my apartment. Unlike Italy, Spain and France, we in New York City, were allowed outside for Sun, Fresh Air, and exercise during the heights of the COVID-19 quarantine. I am currently sharing an apartment that does not get much natural light. I am also sleeping and working in a bedroom that does not get any natural light or fresh air. Every day since I started working from home, I have had to go outside before work, during lunch and after work to expose my brain and body to Natural light, especially the Sun and to get fresh air. Even when I woke up tired from sleeping only three hours per night, or was feeling drained because of swollen lymph nodes and ear pain due to Rhinitis, I made sure I went outside. It turns out I was doing the correct thing for my brain and for my health. It turns out our Brain regulates our body, to keep up healthy by knowing what time of the day or what season it is.  Whenever I am in the apartment all day, I always feel sluggish and I’m always in a low mood but as soon as I step outside, especially on sunny days, my mood is lifted immediately.

I am grateful for the benches because without them I would not have anywhere to sit and regulate my body. I would not have a place for my outside reading.  Living in a city can be fun but their drawbacks are many but thanks to Codvid-19, I am very aware of what is the most the important thing for me, what is as beneficial for me as water, I am aware of what compromises I will not or should not make especially when choosing a home or when planning my day.

A pulled muscle or two-Ouch

 

I pulled my groin last weekend and during the nights of Wednesday and Friday last week, I experienced some muscle spasm or re-pull. OMG, I haven’t experience that level of pain in my life. Thanks to my determination (which is evident in my astrology chart) and my new method of how to focus (from the video I was watching early about improving the Brain's plasticity), I was able to get off my bed and hop-walk to the fridge for my icepack. I spent the rest of those nights and the subsequent nights sleeping, sitting up.

After reading several articles online about groin pulls and how to alleviate the pain, I felt kind of lazy and guilty because this did not happen during a workout or I was playing sports, as the articles mention but when I was getting off my roommate's island stool. After a minute or so of guilt, I then remembered that I am to start physical therapy soon for a weak Pelvis and Lower Back. The guilt disappears, and I told myself that I am not lazy and that I am only a human being with a weak Muscular Structure.

I am proof that non-sport-related muscle strain does happen, ice and heat are its friends, and don’t forget to elevate. You will have to get creative with elevating the groin.

Change, Change, make the change when you can

 

Three seminars and a Facebook live post I listened to last week all spoke about change. They all had the same underlined messages; change is constant, it can be good or bad, it can be driven by oneself or by your surroundings or those around you.

With the onsite of co-vid 19, I have been one of those that have been grounded by this great change our society is facing. But looking back, I think my grounding started long before COVID-19. Just before it started, I had decided that some things in my life must change and I was ready to start making them.  These changes that I needed to make to felt and still feel scary partly because I felt like  I am not equipped to make the change and because I felt and still feel guilty for disrupting the lives of those around me. Maybe I should thank COVID-19 for keeping me from moving forward, but then again, being stuck is unbearable, and therefore I have to make the changes.

So I have decided to do what was suggested by the presenters; I must prepare myself  mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally to face take action because I am worth it.

I am a Human Being

The protests are is strong than ever; the 8pm curfew in NYC has been lifted. The UK, Spain, France, New Zealand, and Canada are among the other Countries protesting for “Black Lives Matters”.

When this all gets resolved or settles, I pray that the spirit remains in the heart of all protesting, and those that support the cause. I pray that those who have problems with it will rethink their position but if they can’t, I want them to realize that people of color are human beings as well.

The judicial, political, and law enforcement systems are not the only ones that need reforming. Societies around the globe need reforming.

We as people need to think about our prejudices, our preferences and be brave to fight against the need to belong when what we are witnessing is not right; when what we are witnessing feels wrong in our heart and soul.

One of my favorite Biblical quotes from Jesus is “Treat others as you would like to be treated”.  Please remember, if you love your neighbors as you love yourself, you won’t harm others because in doing so you will damage your life as well.

Reaching across cultures

This week seems to have been a week for conversations centered around dealing with people across culture and diversity and inclusion issues.

From conversation with a friend about why it is important for leaders to understand the issue diversity and inclusion initiates seeks to address, to a seminar at work that stressed how understanding others interests, strength and weakness helps with leading and motivating them, to a talk on cross-cultural management from the CEO of a global company to a radio show that spoke about how important it is to accept others as they present themselves to us.

These ideas brought about from these conversation echoes my approach to dealing with others and reminded me that I should continue to strive to make them a staple to use when dealing with those that I know and don’t know.

Practicing the following tenets will help me better engage with others, build rewarding relationships and accomplished shared goals more productively:

·       Getting to know people and their cultures and customs

·       Importance of building authentic relationships

·       Having empathy

·       Being confidence to step out of your comfort zone to meet others yet staying authentic

·       Because someone looks like you do, does not mean they are the same as you.

When the younger you visits

I saw a picture of myself that I did not know excited, I was upright so it was around age one. I knew it was me because I felt connected to her innocents, I then noticed it was me when I saw that her features were similar to mine.

I feel that the innocent part of me still exists, and I must do everything to protect it. I felt like apologizing to her for all the decisions that resulted in bad experience, unnecessary fears and unwarranted hurts she has experience or will experience.

 I felt like I had to apologize to her for all the people that had/will take advantage of her and for those that failed to protect her.

 I then vowed to be strong for her, do my best to put her first and take chances that will let her live happily, fully and fulfill her true destiny.

New Job. Finally!!!

I am happy to announce that I started a new position with my current employer in another department. I have moved from a clerical role to a professional role now. I don't know what took me so long but better late than never. I pray that I will start thriving professional and financially now, as that hanging on by a thread feeling is not fun.

2018

As we approach the end of 2019, I am getting many prompts to look back and take stock of my accomplishments, failures, joys and sadness of 2019 and then to create a plan for what I want to accomplish in 2019.

Okay I am in but for the 2019 bit. 2018 was another difficult year for me but much less the past 6 years before it. The first half of this year was full of course corrections and endings. In this last have, I find myself in a holding pattern, reaching out for my next steps on many fronts but not being able to grab them. I guess and hope this is the rest period and it will end soon.


I am healthier than I was this time last year, my Spanish and French comprehension have improved, I finished the year-long study of ‘A Course in Miracle’ and I am capable of meditating for 20 minutes at a time (I could sit for 5mins this time last year).

I made new friends and know who I want to be regarding my relationship with others, my work and myself. I know what kind of people I want in my life.

 My favorite thing about 2018 was the unexpected role model that came into my life. Because of this person, I am a little braver, more open and my light is slipping out from under the bushel.

 

My Journey continues

My journey continues…Kind of

Though I haven’t succeeded in starting a new job and my financial health is stuck in the mud, I am excited to say that I have succeeded in other goals.

 I successfully completed my term as co-leader of the Women's Employee Group at my organization.

A year ago, I could hardly comb my hair without experience neck and shoulder pain and now I can do leg lifts and handle 12.5 pounds weights at the gym.

In September, I enrolled in a beginner’s Spanish class to be able to comprehend the usage of the verbs "Estar", and "Ser", and yesterday I completed my last class.

 I also started to review "La Langue Française" and I am very excited that my comprehension has improved.

My drive with learn Spanish and improving my French grammar has led me to two new loves on Netflix. My two-favorite new obsession are two television series, Gran Hotel from which aired in Spain from 2011 to 2013 and from France, currently in its 3^rd season, Dix pour cent (Call my Agent).

Keeping Calm internally and Externally

Living on this beautiful earth is a gift but it can be emotionally exhausting when dealing with others, whose taste, values, and attitude, spirits and life views differ from your own. It make so much sense why most of us do seek to build communities with people we think are just like us.

I am a proponent of the sayings “You can’t control another person’s reaction, you can only control your own” and “It is none your business what someone else thinks about you”.


To follow these life tenets,  I am happy that the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz exists. I like that it exists because going to bed at the end of each day with a joyful heart and a peaceful mind is one of life's blissful gifts I want to experience.

My grandmother use to say that when she saw me angry, she knew I was always in the right because I only become enraged  when I know I am right and it is time to say enough is enough, especially in situation when someone is being inconsiderate towards me or others. 


As I got older, I learned to pick my battles and acquaintances carefully, while remaining open to interactions and ideas that makes me a well-round person. I have also been doing great at stopping the paralyzing worries of what others thought of me, worries that would keep me awake all night,  worries that would  stop me from experiencing life and from sharing my ideas and opinions.

As I go deeper into my spiritual practice, I am learning to create a world that I would love to live in, one in which I have a life that is respectable, happy, engaging, productive, and meaningful life. I am also learning to deal with life’s curveballs a fruitful way.

For a while now I have been going through a transformative period and as I near its end, and enter into another evolutionary stage, I am happy that Mr. Ruiz’s book came into my life. I have known about the book for years but it is only just recently that I read it. Every day before I start my day, as part of my Morning Prayer and quiet time, I recite the four agreements to myself. Thank you, Don Miguel Ruiz. I am looking forward to these agreements becoming part of my innate habits.


Since I am saying thank you, I want to thank my favorite Iconoclast, Cate Blanchett, to my friends on 12 and Beacon of light radio stations, because, of you all, I will  keep my light from under the bushel.

We've debated, now let's take action. Shall we?

I've been thinking about all the summits, seminars and workshops we organize to address societal and workplace issues. Every year, many of these events, attempt to solve the same issues that were tackled in past years or by other organizations in the previous months. In fact, I have gone to many and even helped organized a few and my takeaway has also been solutions similar to ones I have heard before.

Lately I am feeling the urge to move beyond just talking. I know for certain that we have come up with many great solutions, and I feel it is time to implement them.



In the past, whenever I am at a seminar, I usually think to myself, why am I here? What I am going to do with this information I am getting?
Lately, I have been using these questions to help me select the seminars, workshop or talks I take part in because I realized that after each event, when the exciting of being part of these engaging dialogs fade, I would tuck the solutions I gathered away because I don’t have mechanism to implement the solutions.

But now instead of refusing to participate or to listen because I don’t have the influence to move things forward, I need to fight to be heard; I need to keep asking, the question, ‘how do we move forward from just talking to taking actions?’ to others. I need push to work collaboratively with those who have the influence to create the vehicle for change to actualize.

So world, how do we move from talking about equality for women in the workplace and in life to taking actions to make sure it is a reality?




Update!!
Interesting development form UN Women's Global Innovation Coalition for Change (GICC). Please read.